Dear Me,
I have loved getting to know you for the last nearly half a century. We’ve been through so much. I was looking back at old photos the other day, this time as witness, not participant, when I came across this one of your baby girl, just four years old with her kitten, Lovely. Zooming out from this view of her sitting on a pale blue floor, there’s nothing behind her but a twin mattress, a thrift shop antique folding table, and a bowl for cat food & water. In front of her was twin mattress. There was no dresser, but a basket of folded clothes kept her clean.
I recall a memory and see you hunching over to dress in the morning. There was no place to stand upright. Then, crouching, tying your girl’s shoes as she sat on the edge of the bed. Both of you kissing the cat before heading to work and daycare. The room, a small attic, was accessible by a narrow vertical ladder which had been built inside of a coat closet on a crime riddled street of Richmond. You had friends and family but no visitors there. It was you and her. You had nothing and everything.
You fought so hard to get on your feet. Sometimes people in your life have misconstrued you as scrappy or feisty but these terms don’t do justice to the loyalty, bravery, diligence, and sheer grit it took to get you through the early years of single parenting.
Take a step back and look at what you did. You survived countless sleepless nights, where you were hungry but she was fed. You wrote poetry and focused on work to cope. You checked out library books on financial accounting and self-taught your way into better and better jobs until all your — and her — needs were met.
This survival, even pride, is not the work of a scrappy kid, even if you were only 25. This was a marathon mission in leveling up for yourself and your daughter. You learned to accept help along the way. You repaid your debts. You are a survivor among survivors and I am so proud of you. I respect and love you and I’m excited to see and ensure your fairytale ending.
Love,
Me
P.S. I know you’re still in your PJs writing this but… you look smashing today. 🙂